The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

21:38 Jul 22 2008
Times Read: 673

*A rant to ease my frustrations*



You are a pig; no higher than a swine. How dare you? How DARE you?? Most would say that this is none of my concern, but I tend to believe it is. You say you're sorry for hurting people the way you do, but I seem to recall you telling me "You're not sorry. If you were sorry, you wouldn't keep doing it." You live in a little fantasy world; a world you embrace only to give you a reason to continue your poor excuse at a way of life.



I see right through you, now. I'm just glad the fog cleared before it was too late for me. Tell me, does your beloved 'mate' know you've gotten someone else pregnant? I doubt it. What you deserve is punishment. You're so ready and willing to claim a child is yours, but you do NOTHING to step up to the plate and take care of them. Sure, you took care of them here and there, until you got sick of them. Then you pawn the off on someone else, or make them stay in their room all day, alone. You're not fit to be a parent. How many people's lives have you ruined with false promises of family, love, support, and companionship?



You're running from something. You're afraid to get hurt. Blah blah blah... Everyone's afraid to get hurt. Everyone. Over the years you've found many who have wanted nothing more than to be with you until the very end. The families you've started with them are, as much as I hate to compare these beautiful people to this, like unfinished projects, collecting dust in separate rooms, while you selfishly feed them little scraps here and there to keep them dangling, hoping and praying that you'll keep your promises.



You preach about honour, but where's the honor in someone who cowardly cheats on the person they claim to love? Where's the honor in a person who constantly lies to get what they want? You are no better than a cowardly version of the devil.



You're pathetic, and I am so thankful that I'm no longer part of your little willing 'camarilla'.



You disgust me.

06:18 Jul 18 2008
Times Read: 681

"Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V" --V in V for Vendetta.



Epic movie.

A quickie.
05:53 Jul 17 2008
Times Read: 688

*yawns* I'm finally done cleaning the kitchen... I started at like 5-ish this afternoon and I finished at around midnight-thirty (^_^) I am so tired it's not even funny. The sad part is that I cleaned it because I found some brownie mix in the pantry and wanted to make some... Yeah, that didn't happen. I wore myself out. Tomorrow, though, I'll be working on the living and dining room, while the brownies make. I am so effing determined, it's not even funny... I should wear a different pair of shoes, though... Converses don't make good cleaning shoes.

Missing him.
00:06 Jul 17 2008
Times Read: 696

I look at my life, and I can honestly say that I'm happy. I live in FL where I'm only a short drive from the beach. I don't have money, but I have the things I need. Life is good. But theres this longing in my heart... Almost like a void. I know what it is, and it comes out and reminds me of just how lonely I actually am when I look around me and see all my friends with their significant others. I know I've found someone who'll treat me right and stuff, but we're not together. He's at basic training, and I miss him.



*sighs* I'm just having a painful pang of loneliness. Patience is a virtue... I'm gonna ride it out, because I know that in the end, I'll be happy. I'll have the family I've always dreamed of, and the career I'm working towards...



Life's good now, and it'll be good then, too. I just have to keep on swimming.



...just not with jellyfish or sharks...



^_^

19:30 Jul 15 2008
Times Read: 711

Right, so, I've been getting in touch with my Cuban side lately... I have a longing to go the the country where my family comes from. The closest I can get to that at the moment, however, is the beach.



New Smyrna Beach is really a beautiful place to go, but you have to be careful... It's the Shark bite capital of the world... *sighs* According to something I read not too long ago, people who frequent New Smyrna Beach have at one point or another been at least 10 feet away from a shark. Fun, ¿no? There were also massive amounts of jelly fish (the non stinging kind) everywhere... I kept stepping on them, they kept running into me... Epic amounts of spanish cursing happened. Lol. At one point, I was on the board (we were surfing, too... Or rather, Alye and Preston were, I was learning. I can't stand up yet, and I'm retarded at paddling, so really I was just on the board, occasionally catching a white water wave, praying that I didn't eat sand, like Alye told me I might...) with Alye, just floating there. once we decided we were going to go in, I went to grab the board with my other hand and felt something squishy under my hand. Yep, jellyfish...



Geh... There's a ton more to tell, but I'm getting lazy... The important thing is that I'm now tan, YAY! Lol. Oh, and I'm learning how to surf, though I dunno how well a surfer I'll be if I freak out when I'm alone in the ocean... (I are scared of sharks... Lol.) I'll post the rest of it some other time.

The house ankh for Noctem Aeternus
22:36 Jul 06 2008
Times Read: 724






Right, so I got tired of seeing the ankh I worked so hard on all over the site without any sort of thanks, so, I'm just gonna claim my but of fame.



Yes, Pete is the one who drew it out, but he came to me and asked me to fix it up and make it look nice. I did the background, as well as added the fog, and blacked out the outline to make it look nice. I also enhanced the colors. I worked really fucking hard on this thing, and it was pissing me off that everyone BUT me was allowed to have it up (all because Mr. Morales got pissed at me and excommunicated me). No matter. I have it up now. I must say, I'm proud of my work. ^_^

23:18 Jul 05 2008
Times Read: 735

So... Yesterday was the 4th. Alye and I ended up spending it separately. She was with her family and I was with mine. Luckily for me, I'm over my cold, and luckily for her, she didn't get my cold. Lol. It was a really bad one, and we, inevitably, ended up sharing drinks, food, beer, cigs, and a tiny lil bit of pot. Lol. So yeah... she was immune... Lucky bitch.... She's back now, so that means I'll probably head off to the man house sometime this week. Possibly...



Anyways.... There's a Harry Potter marathon going on this weekend. I am in an epic yay mood. I'm just glad school hasn't started back up yet. I'm kind of freaking about that... I was an emotional wreck last semester, and as a result, I failed one class, barely passed another class, and got an incomplete in my 3rd. *sighs* I'm trying to decide if I'm gonna take 4 or 5 classes in the fall. I'm doing work study, so that's not a problem, but still... And I need health insurance... I'm lucky enough that I didn't need to go to the doctor's or the hospital with this cold.



*sighs* Oh, and I burnt my thumb last night. Stupid cig lighter... it's too short... Lol. Okies, well, I'm off to watch Harry Potter 2 on ABC Family.



Laterz.

Why didn't you say goodbye?
22:20 Jul 01 2008
Times Read: 744

*sighs* So, I'm sick. I've been sick since... um... Thursday? Friday? It started getting bad on Saturday when I woke up with a bad fever and it got worse Sunday and yesterday. Geh...



It's also the first of July... That means he should have left today... He told me he was leaving on the first. But noooooo.... He actually left YESTERDAY. He left. I won't get to talk to him until about Christmas time....Yesterday. But he didn't say goodbye... He didn't message me, or call me to let me know he was leaving. The last time I spoke with him was on the 23rd of June. He left. He's gone. I want to be angry with him. I really do, but I can't. I don't know what it is about him, but I can't stay angry with him. All I can do is go on with my life and count down the days until I can talk to him again. Of course, I'm gonna let him know how hurt I am that he didn't say goodbye and that I did in fact cry (while sick and running a slight fever... yeah, I'm gonna milk it... Lol.)... It's only fair.



But, then again, I have this little nagging voice in the back of my mind saying, 'see? He left without saying goodbye. You shouldn't have fallen for him. He didn't fall for you. Not the way he said he had." And I really don't want to believe it, but I kind of do... Why did he leave without saying goodbye? Why did he help me rebuild my heart, allow it to give itself to him, then forget he ever had it? What the hell is wrong with me falling for guys who can't see just how much they mean to me? What scares me most is that I don't want my heart back... It's his. It gave itself to him and he can keep it... I just have to have faith that he didn't just toy with my emotions...



But why didn't he say goodbye...?



...Why...?